Deadpool
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Leo's trying his best with Louisa, but he might need a little bit of merc-with-the-mouth help...


**Just a one-shot based on Louisa's fascination with Deadpool**

 **I own nothing, but my OCs, yada yada yada!**

* * *

"What do I have to do to get you to love me?"

"Ooh, Leo's off for the day." Piper sat up interestedly, grinning wickedly. It seemed all but Louisa were aware of Leo's _mahoosive_ crush on said daughter of Poseidon. Although, she seemed to be coming around to the idea of it; her thoughts on the matter were as of yet unknown, but Piper- and her siblings- were pushing for Leoisa.

Piper sat with Jason on the steps of her cabin. Percy and Annabeth were sat beside them, playing Mario Kart on their DS's. They looked up when Piper nudged them. Leo had hold of Louisa's arm as they walked, headed off towards Bunker 9.

"Come on, Lou, it'd be great. It's like being best friends but with a few added bonuses."

"Valdez, I will gut you."

"Agreed. But you can't deny it would be fun."

"I can 'n' I will, now shove off."

"You're cold." Leo muttered, stopping dead. Louisa continued for a few steps, jolting to a halt and looking back to glare Leo's hand off her arm. "OK, OK, how about hypothetically speaking then? What are the chances of us getting married?" Percy narrowed his eyes at this, watching Leo carefully. Leo wasn't paying attention to him, just his sister, but Annabeth and Piper were torn between giggles and flicking Percy in the head. Jason smirked and added his own flick in. Percy made a grab for him and then they started a thumb-war, as ever mature.

"Valdez," Louisa said, hands on hips. Leo took a step back and Piper hissed.

"What?" Annabeth demanded.

"Sassy hips."

"What?" The boys chimed.

"Sassy hips. It's what Leo calls it, but basically when Lou's going to dollop a load of sass on someone, she does the sassy hips- see!" Piper pointed vigorously. The others turned as Louisa shifted her weight from one hip to the other, almost a sashay; Leo took another step back, smiling sheepishly.

"Let's just say for argument's sake that, gods forbid, it ever comes ta us gettin' married, ya'd never be able ta afford me anyway. Ya broke, Valdez."

"I could be unbroke."

"That ain't a word, ya idiot. I ain't gettin' married, be it you, a god or the richest guy on the planet. I ain't interested, end of story."

"No." Leo defied. Louisa moved her balance, leaning on her right leg more, left hip out, fists resting on the curves of her waist. Leo made a face at this, blowing a raspberry before she could open the sass-can more.

He managed three seconds of silence and then, "OK, let's say that I actually asked you to marry me. What would say?"

"Nothin'." Louisa shrugged. "I can't talk 'n' laugh at the same time."

"Why are you so mean?"

"Why are you so desperate?"

"Mean!" Leo reprimanded. Louisa smirked knowingly. "I'm not talking to you now." Leo spotted the four watching them and made his way over to them. Louisa considered this for a moment and then decided she wanted food and went the other way.

"Aw, Valdez!" Piper threw her arms around his neck, hugging him from behind. "Percy, stop glaring at him, shoo." Piper flapped her hand in Percy's face. Percy knocked her hand aside and frowned at Leo.

"You really do like her, don't you?" There was a collective groan from the other three and Annabeth face-palmed.

"Seaweed Brain, it's so obvious!" Percy paid them no attention, eyes focused solely on Leo. Leo's voice lodged in his throat; he could only nod. Percy turned away, examining the pause menu of his game, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought. Leo hid the lower half of his face against Piper's forearms and sighed.

"It doesn't matter," he mumbled dejectedly, "it's not like I'm not going to get anywhere."

"Deadpool."

"What?"

"Deadpool." Percy looked back at him. "If you like her that much, Deadpool."

"Oh, that's right!" Annabeth laughed. "Lou said she's never going to get married, but if Deadpool turned up on her doorstep, she'd marry him on the spot."

"Deadpool? Oh gods, I'm scared now."

"And you weren't before?" Jason pointed out.

"Touché. Piper, could you not strangle me?"

"I might have something that can help, get up!"

"I'm not giving you a piggy back."

"If you want my help, you will." Leo looked to Percy, but he was looking at his DS again. It was Annabeth who nodded encouragingly. Leo ended up giving Piper a piggy back, but, in the end, it was worth it.

* * *

"No, _nooo_ , shush…" Louisa pulled her pillow over her head, groaning. "Percy, get the door."

"It's your turn." Her brother grumbled. Louisa threw her pillow. It hit the door with a soft thump, silencing the knocking that had woken her up. Only for a second though. She muttered a string of curses under her breath, sluggishly climbing down from her bunk, dragging her feet to collect her pillow. More knocking.

"Shurrup." Louisa told it. It took a moment for her to get hold of the handle and another to actually get the door open- it was pull, not push- and then she shut it just as quick. "Percy."

"No."

"Percy, somethin' weird is goin' on."

"Leave a message..." Louisa glanced back. Percy had burrowed down in his bedding. She lobbed her pillow at him, called him something she probably shouldn't have and cracked the door open.

"This ain't right." She said to herself. "I am awake, right?"

"Hi."

"Wait… _Valdez_?"

"Sort of."

"Wh-? What the hell?" She swung the door open, catching it against the bend of her wrist and frowning at this marvel on her doorstep. "What the frick are you doin', Percy, what the frick- what the fuck- what-?" Percy cocooned his head in the duvet and squinted at the commotion. Leo waved. Percy just hummed and went back to sleep. "What in the name of- d'ya realise how much of a twat you are?"

"I think I'm getting there, but- for you." He produced a bouquet of wildflowers from behind his back. Louisa could only assume he was smiling, it was hard to tell.

"So, _Leopool_ , why are you here?"

"Well, you won't marry Leo, but you'll marry Deadpool, so ta da!" Leo flourished his hands.

"Where did you- How-? _What_?" Louisa shook her head, taking the flowers and looking him up and down. The suit was a little big on him, but, somehow, he managed to make it work. Head to toe, Deadpool. She poked him just to make sure she wasn't imagining things, feeling the material of his sleeve for herself. "There's somethin' wrong with you."

"I blame you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't bring on the sassy hips." Leo's hands flailed, shooting forward to grab her free hand. Louisa froze, not quite sure what to make of this development. He pushed the mask up atop his head, a few curls springing loose. "Lou, come on, you're killing me, you've got to give me something."

"I- I could give ya a punch in the mouth." A spark flittered in the chocolatey depths of his eyes, a mischievous grin lifting the corner of his lips.

"With yours?"

"Valdez…" She growled.

"Just a suggestion." Leo waved it away, smile in place, despite the hollow feeling freezing through his chest. He got a little bit of a shock himself to see a pink tinge work its way behind her tanned features, cheeky quip dying on his tongue. She seemed to notice the colouring, hiding her face amongst the flowers. Leo glanced down, realising he still had hold of her hand. He could feel his heart beat crashing around his ribcage, pulling the mask back down as a blush of his own came to life. _Dios Bueno,_ he thought, _she's cute._

"Oh my gods, get a room." Percy appeared and shoved them out, cackling when they landed in a heap, her on top of him. Leo wasn't the only one bright red.


End file.
